Ripples of thoughts...

b heavenly 52

2011-11-21T03:20:00.000-06:00

Sometimes after a couple of blody mary’s and b-52s you are so emotionally charged that you alter your display name on your deserted blog site. The realization of this mishap only strikes you while you are leaving a comment on someone’s blog.
I mean seriously I must have been hallucinating to be so criminally ridiculing my own self to change my display name to “confused”. What was I thinking!!
Am I that confused??

Monotony vs Desire

2011-06-07T04:48:00.000-05:00

This 9 to 5 job is now taking its toll on me. I am not talking about the physical stress or the mental stress it has to offer rather the monotony of it is something which really takes me down. For how long will I be doing this?

Off late in my head I am thinking of ways to break out of this. I initially thought that maybe I needed a vacation to just go to some nice place and sit back and do some soul searching, but that doesn’t seem to be working either. Starting something of my own is not something I didn’t think of but then am I just day dreaming or am I ready for what it takes to run your own show. Deep down I know I am a sham when it comes to working. I have a tendency to pile things till the time I don’t feel confident about picking them up. And then what area I can explore as an entrepreneur? What am I good at?

I already need a coffee break!!!!

p.s: i couldn't thin of any other title...excuse me this time

heading...what heading???

2010-06-04T14:16:00.002-05:00

Yeah!.....whatever.....I know its been too too long but i am way too f%^&ed up at the moment to even come up with any contrived logic in my support.....think as you may please...

I feel the pain again and so i guess that has excited my sordid fate in writing to f%^& off! Hah...can’t believe i still know how to write almost after two years of absolutely no thoughts to write about. Two year of blissful marriage and then came career...work.....office....boss. hats off to the guy who postulated the theory of grass is always greener on the other side....But seriously that makes me wonder what really drives passion in some people.....strive for perfection or just a medium to let go off all the pain heaving on their chest...but seriously good question...what drives the passion in me.....answer: no clue...am i even passionate about anything

I am back again to my soul searching mode. Oh its nothing new. I get there once in every 3 years. It fun all this confusion and the feeling of being lost....fun of-course not now maybe a year down the line sure will make you feel elated....that oh my what a jack ass i was.

haaaaa.....of the yester days again...

2009-01-12T18:01:00.003-06:00

Boy its like the sex appeal thing. The moment I sit in front of my laptop all excited to write …approximately a minute and half after that laptop opening moment my excitement just dies down. Puff! It all disappears and after that all that that gets punched are some chareacter keys and lots of backspace button.

I enjoy writing a diary these days. And a warm and cozy coffee shop is like “de” place to be. Chocó chip cookies and a hot coffee mug would do wonders. However in the absence of Chocó chip cookies I don’t mind blueberry muffins (lets not talk about the calorie issues now…we keep that for later)

When I was in college I was pretty regular writing my daily diary. Don’t know how I picked up on that habit. But I did dwell on it pretty well. It was like the space I had to myself to do my bit of jabbering only meant for me. And the jabbering could include wide variety of emotions. Emotions scaling to feeling happy, sad, frustrated, bitchy, gossipy, self introspection, talking to god kinds, boyfriend problems, money problems, grade problems.

I am telling you its quite a habit to dwell on. When I sit back and read my old diaries from my college days its like sitting with your best friend whom you are meeting after a very long gap. You talk about the old days good and bad. Gossip about friends and ex boyfriend whom you dumped. Money you did use to over spend and the constant badgering from the professors for the lab grades and the extra assignments as a result of that. The frustration of not being able to get your mom’s consent for that goa trip……and the guilt of going on the Goa trip without informing your mom…..or how painful your last break off was. But at the end of all this you laugh or giggle or smile atleast…..in short it fills your heart with a strange kind of eternal happiness, further soothes your past inflicted wounds and subtly makes you realize how you have moved on in life…..

Reading your old diary is exactly like that……meeting your long lost best buddy…talking of the yesterdays and smiling to yourself. One diary entry of mine which I particularly remember till date which makes me laugh….

“what is a dog…….an animal
what is an ant……..a creature
what am I….OH good lord please help me”

(guess I was way too frustrated to have written something like that….. )

Maybe that’s why they say “keep a diary and one day it’ll keep you”….

as i like it...

2009-01-06T06:53:00.000-06:00

This is like a cherry topping……..a mounted craving to write…loads of time at disposal sitting pretty in the hotel room and plus its too cold outside. The new destination to my globetrotting endeavor is Caen……and that’s in France (in case you guys are wondering…..not that I mean to show off).

Guess what I finally bought myself a diary…he-ha-ha. Was and am sick and tired to punching in keys to articulate my thoughts on the Microsoft word that too with no ink appeal. The other thing that really does irk are the curly wiggly lines cajoling under the word I dare spell wrong or sentences supposedly with sinful dose of grammatical errors. Now this auto word correction and colorful sights of those “wiggles” amidst contemplative mood can be pretty obnoxious. And so I bought myself a diary. Was dying to commit a spelling blunder or give Wren Martin a toss of its life.

p.s: as for curly and wiggly I guess I can draw my own ;)

memoirs

2008-09-24T17:06:00.001-05:00

Two Mugs And A Coffee Machine

2008-09-22T18:38:00.006-05:00

I have no explanation as to where I went absconding for so long. No convincing reasons…….none at all. No sickness, no intriguing engagements and definitely no office workload. So to sum it all up, it was shear laziness on my part. I did satisfy myself each day with some contrived logic as to why I can’t write.
But the problem here is not about writing alone. The problem here was my whole ideology about how I looked at life in the present context. Infact I had no idea about how I looked at my life now….so “f” the ideology part. I was so convinced about the mundanity of being a house wife that every sort of logical reasoning took a toll. I shunned myself from not only writing but from a lot of things I use to do before.
And this is just the trailer…….

I was lazy to do anything about these extra pounds I had gained over the months hogging the Mexican delicacies loaded with “queso”. I had a gym membership but then every morning I did just pull off something fancy and nice not to go there.

I did not clean my house as in sweep and swipe part for over two weeks (I am totally ashamed about it). Just limited myself to the kitchen rituals.

I did not read or engaged in anything intellectually intriguing in a long time now.

Didn't read the scores of book I bought on different case studies or material related to my line of work.

I didn't enrolled myself for any of the dance/salsa/hip-hop classes, the thing I always wanted to do.

The best of the reasons I gave myself and Abhi was one blank look. I took comfort in that cubby hole that I made for myself that all this weirdness in my behavior is ok because it’s a part of adjusting with this new pattern of life where I don’t work, and I don’t have friends whom I can really relate to, I get bored sitting at home, I am tired of doing the same work everytime.

What the hell happened to me? How could I possibly be such a jerk? I still empathize over this transition from “I” to “Us”, but amidst all this whats sad is that I had given up on my quest of life. I had given up on the struggle to find a way from these changes in my life, a total opposite to the way I was before.

This is definitely not what I want to be…….so if it implies I need to change……so be it!!

Zapped of zip...

2008-06-10T17:37:00.000-05:00

It was quite a zzzz affair……and sure did take a toll on me….
Now with marriage comes the usual affair of hi helloing over to your hubby’s colleagues and this brings up the concept of tea and snacks (incase the other party is a tea-to-teller) into your life……..where the families sit together and talk about delhi ki chat…benaarsi sarees….punjab di lassi…..
I am no less of an initiator to these topics….I was never a quite child anyways…..i just love talking…and talking…..to the extent that I go to the loo quite often…for I drink a lot of water…for I talk a lot…. phew!!
So…it was during one of these pleasant evening tea and snack sessions did Abhi came close to me…close enough that I wondered why in the middle of a gathering does he want to indulge in a PDA (public display of affection)….and then came the magic words…..”your fly”
The next thing I knew was I wanted to die……how on earth……why me……I hate myself……
God knows how I survived this stroke of tough luck…..and yet pretended that nothing actually had happened…….
For the remaining part of the conversation I kept quite…….to myself…….and precisely then did I happen to notice the little wonders of life….a silver lining for a poor feeling-sad-soul…….I had company to this whole fly affair……Abhi himself…..
To the sadist that I am…I realished every moment of that zapped look on his face……but then again what a zip zapped couple we were……!!

Controversial Opinions

2008-04-04T13:35:00.005-06:00

See boys and girls I am a very peace loving person……….I respect that thing of your space and your privacy………but the problem here is….I expect the same from you……

See….I can criticize myself…..for anything…..but can’t stand you doing that to me…..not until you are in my really-friendly-and-pally list…..not until I find you gullible enough……and if you chose to do that….I will make sure to give you quite sumptuous embarrassing moments as a token of my gratitude……not with any intensions of revenge or vengence…..would just say as the response stimulus mechanism…..

The first couple of meets are restricted to….hi…hello…..how you doing……oh your dress is lovely….ahh…the restaurant down town is amazing……….gradually….you know…. you get the comfort level of …getting down to saying….abe yaar…bore mat kar…..kya kar rahi hai pagal……
It doesn’t happen overnight…..not for me…….and if you think otherwise then don’t complain about my response stimulus I just briefed you on…….boy you gotta make choices……I assure you….I am a very understanding and caring an individual………I can really go out of the way to help you…you could confide in me….I’ll even give you company…..even when you get those skin rashes….and probably be the ugly duckling of the town….I’ll stand by you through all the tough times………..but…..you can’t rush up being friendly…with me………..

And I hate when you do that bossing around business…………who you!!……..again you are not in my really-friendly-and-pally list…..I don’t find you gullible enough ‘still’……and hey…..hey……don’t complain……when I respond back in that… same bossy tone of yours…..I feel….intimidated the same way you do….. J. My dad use to tell me….advice is like salt or sugar…to be given when asked for…..so don’t go….rushing with your…..ocean of helpful advice and definitely not with that bossy undertone…..

Like this scenario (ofcourse not the actual ones):

Scene 1
Me: Feel like eating something tangy. I love paani poori. How I wish I could have one this very moment
Other person: I hate them! I hate the sticky hands later. I prefer bhel instead.
Me: Yeah that’s the part of the deal of eating paani poori. But that’s okay for it tastes good.
Other person: I just hate them.
Other person: I hate it!
Me (thinking): Buzz off......are you not a little too much with this hate thing....I got the point
Me: mmmmmm......okay

Scene 2

The same other person: Oh the other day I went to this restaurant they serve very good seafood
Me: Oh the sea food for me is yuk
Other person: Its not all that bad. How can you say yuk!
Me (Thinking): Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa is it!! You hate my paani poori why can’t I call your seafood yuk………and i have just said it once.......
Me: Its just the taste. I don't have a hang of that taste.The way you don't like paani poori.
Other person: Now you getting tooooo emotional. (in that bossy high pitched tone)

Me (Thinking): EXCUSE ME!!! Baby....now thats too much......don't be a smarty......
Me: No I just chose to answer it back your way…you know express myself your way…..RUDE. (with a smile patched on the face…..which was ofcourse hard to bear……boy I was hell of intimidated)

I hope that special one reads this post….and take it in positive spirits…..we have no race going on as to who wins the game…we are here to enjoy ourselves……cherish each others company…..not be bothered with each ones presence…..

House-wifey-hood

2008-04-03T13:17:00.005-06:00

Though its just a break from work….and that I am waiting for my dependent visa……but the truth and the fact of the matter is that at the moment I am grounded and a dedicated house wife…….
It took me time to come to terms with it…initially it was fun…get up late…laze around…..indulge in some cooking……pampering yourself…with aroma bath…or….shopping…but then over a period of time you are dying to get back to work……getting back to the heat of the action…that corporate office life you were leading….those useless meetings….and presentation for which you could hardly keep your eyes open…endless debates over your ROI figures and trend analysis or your supply chain model…delegate work…..boss around..bitch about…..and be a gossip monger once in a while….

Instead I have other things to worry about…..lunch mein kya banaaaooo……fridge mein kya khatam ho raha hai…….shit aaj kapade nahi…dhone dale……..dinner mein kya banaaooo….walmart se kya lana hai…I am much busy a person than I ever thought…….that is if I want my house neat and clean…and work done on time…

The only person….happy with this transformation is my mum…..she gets this sadistic pleasure seeing me getting worked up…….because according to her claims….all my life I was such a spoiled brat…that it’s a payback time……

I remember when I was in hostel…..laundry…was a very interesting yet meticulously managed affair…..if I have money…ask the dhobi…to wash it…..if I am tight on cash wash it one fine Saturday…night (can’t spare a day u c)……..dirty linen into the basket and washed and dried ones on the bed…incase you are engaging the study table….and subsequently shift them over to the chair…when you wish to use the bed……they never made it to the cupboard….(he ha ha ).Look at me now……..i have a neatly maintained cupboard….i iron the clothes….the moment they are out of the drier…….i can’t tell you how shocked I am to see myself do this….

The only…cooking I did earlier was limited to either tea…maggi……omlette……poached egg…..or maybe a sandwich….and now…..I worry about nutritional food…and leafy vegetables and have cooked….palak mushroom….for lunch……….i can’t believe that I did that…..Even while shopping…the only things that made to my cart were maggi packets…coffee powder….jams, pickles….and now…..masale…subziyaaaaaa…..doodh…dahi….fruits…….all bhenji stuff

I don’t remember how many times we had to cancel our plans for dinner for I was working late in office…or spoiled our meal for I had a call to attend..and look at me now….I hate to wait…for him to come back home…from work…..and if he does delay in coming……I try hard to abstain myself from calling him…but then I do call and to ask….”Whats taking you so long?”… boy! I am such a hypocrite….i wonder how is he putting up with me…. (he he)……

lost in the ripples of my thoughts again…..!!!

Back to Civilization

2008-04-02T19:40:00.002-06:00

Was a blessed one for good part of my life. We were the brats of elite sorts and we did flaunt every bit of that in our attitude. And talking to anybody not matching our breed was just taken as a token of generosity to the less mortal souls……we were the army lads….branded as the “fauji ki bigadi aulad”…….such was the case when I was a little kid….till I grew up and realized the modalities of life no more shadowed of my being an army lad…..when it was me that counted as an individual and not what your dad does…

Now having walked to the other side of being a full fledged civilian (as it goes)…….doesn’t harm much if I care to remember some random things from those blessed days

1. 99.9% of the army lads have their education from either Army School or Amry Public School or from Kendriya Vidalaya. And its needless to say that it’s the CBSE syllabus. However if the dads were posted to some metropolitan or some A class city the schools would/could vary to some hot shot convents or Public schools which ain’t no better than our Army Schools.

2. Aunties and mums and their ladies meet. Oh their ladies meet at times is quite an entertainment… …I mean all officers wives get together to have quite an afternoon for themselves…..sometimes fun and sometimes quite informative. Like the other day….my mum was telling that they had invited a doc for a lecture on breast cancer….. its fun to see mum getting worked up with her rehearsals for the play or ideas about organizing games…to hear her talk about Mrs Chopra’s chiffon saree and Mrs Khanna’s pearl set.

3. The other thing I can go jabbering about is the officers mess. I love that place…..everytime you go there you can always smell the fresh paint….because for Christ sake some or the other general is coming visit. The walls are covered with the pictures of century old generals with long moustache or martyrs with a long angry face with nostrils flared up in rage….. The whole place is so colorful with variety of potted plants and lush green lawns. Every table is just stacked up with vases having gladula flower arrangement……commanding officers wife is crazy about. The hot fav plants among the ladies include…......fern, daisies, calendula, cactus, poppy, morning glory …….don’t remember many names now…….ladies are just so obsessed with their gardens and lawns…….you never know they might just beg borrow steal some seedlings from your garden…..if they don’t their sahayak would…using their sahayak network.

4. If you dad lands up being a mess secretary….there’s an added charm to that too…..you could end up memorizing the inventory stack maintained…know the menu for the party beforehand….and then the mess havaldar (mess incharge)would know you…since he would be reporting to your dad…so you get your snacks and food …..fresh and hot……and with extra ketchup and chutney…….to be in the good books sake!!

5. The dinning in and dinning out parties. These parties are basically hosted in event of the officer coming new to the station or being posted out. Its quite a formal affair……right from the attire to the dining etiquettes. No matter how influential your dad is…kids just can’t make it for these parties…….but you can get lucky to make it till the guest rooms….and get the food…from the back door.

6. Sometimes the weekends use to be fun. Thanks to all the bi-annuals and raising days. You have the TV at your disposal….phone at your disposal…god damn whole house at your disposal….mum cooks something nice for she feel s bad about leaving kids back at home…..you can just flip some coke cans from the fridge and……tune in to Star Plus(then English)…..and watch …….Baywatch……call you friends over….who just stay….next door…and the only thing that need to cross is the garden hedge…hop over the vegetable garden and into the house back door.

7. The real fun was in flaunting your accessories and style…..and when I say that…..it refers to the privilege of sitting in those…jeeps…jongas…..one tons…two tons…..boy even a four ton…those dark green color vehicles and army uniform clad drivers…driving in and out of the cantonment…area restricted for the civilians ..At times it was fun going with your dad to the firing range and see him practice…and if you get lucky you might just be shooting a round from those rifles or AK47….two jawan bhaiyas holding the damn heavy stuff for you…all you have to do is just aim and shoot…….now that’s where the less mortal soul comes into picture…

8. Having mentioned so many things how can I miss on talking about the MES…..everytime your dad is posted to a new place…allotment of house is BIG problem…especially in big cities……your first given the officers mess….then a temporary accommodation or rather a barrack…..and then a captain accommodation…and finally when the three year peace tenure is about to get over is that you get the major or colonel accommodation…you just keep waiting your turn and changing houses….and it’s the same story…each time you get new accommodation….open the flush….you’ll see the birds nest……drawer handles come in your hand…the moment you think of touching them…..and the fan makes that typical sound…..chuuuuuuun chuuuuuuun chuuuuuuun chuuun chun chun chun chun……………………………(catching up speed version). But mums are capable of making a fine home under any shack….guess they are use to the drill.

9. The brat part of being army lad is the helper bhaiya assigned to your dad…..also called the sahayak…..though they are assigned to the officer but….come to think of it……it’s the mummies and aunties…..who actually boss around….on them….they practically do all the household work except cleaning cooking washing…….they water the garden…..bring groceries….take doggies out for a walk….hold our bags and wait till our bus comes at the bus stop in the morning…be there at the bus stop when the school get over and again…hold our bags……run for our urgent stationary requirements……even get our lunch boxes to school…with hot freshly cooked food…in the recess time…..boy…was quite a way of living!!

10. But its not the same way always…..so happy go lucky sorts…….when your dad gets posted to the field…or border areas or exercises for months to some obscure location it’s a different proposition altogether….the only source of communication (then) is either he calling you…..or you writing over to him….on the standard APO address…just his name and the APO….for you never come to know the exact location where he is posted…….theres always this question that haunts you day and night “ what if!”…..and you see your mom…..managing two ends……missing her husband and waiting to hear from him….and being a responsible mom raising her kids to perfection….…

beauty is only skin deep...

2008-03-31T00:44:00.000-06:00

HIGH notes

2008-03-27T23:15:00.002-06:00

Let me state this upfront….I am a little high after two neat shots of this Chilian wine….guess you would need that to maintain that required composure in rough times…….

I wonder if my ears are ringing or there is a lot of clanging noise around in the house. Looks like the this is turning out to be one hell of a wrestling match……(yokosuna vs. undertaker)…wait lemme just check and come……

Oh its just the onions getting sautéed………(he was the undertaker)

Aww the rough times I was talking about is in anticipation of the moment when I get to enter my kitchen again. Because I know what awaits me………not only the awesome egg curry Abhi is cooking for dinner but a hell lot more – rehabilitation of the kitchen for any further hygienic cooking prospects (that’s the best I can do to explain keeping my expressions subtle).
I wonder why an organized orderly house is just not the part of their gene combination (two more gulps of wine to that).

And what am I wining about….everytime he insists on cooking with the most sincere expression to give me time off from cooking….I eat up all the horror that strikes me and surrender with a loving “YES” (guess thats what marriage does that to you!)

p.s. The egg curry was amazing!!!

ki Mrs

2008-03-23T04:23:00.010-06:00

Swear guys, seems like a dream. Just yesterday I was cribbing about eventualities of marriage and look at me now…….I already am weighing 5kgs extra. Add to that some old desi yankies addresses me....Abhishek------ki Mrs…..and I look back wondering whom is he calling…..Add to that its 4 o’ clock in the morning and he is snoring away to glory which sounds as though you are spraying disinfectant in your room “ppppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhKKKKKKKKKKKKKK”

Love marriage ya arrange
chandramukhi ho ya paaroo ki farak penda eh yarooon!!

How did you guys meet
according to the second version of the story....at my cousins wedding

Love at first sight
sight…naaaaaaaaaaaaa…..my sight was busy checking out the guy to his right

How does it feel to get married
------------------------------------game over (stole it from the t-shirt I saw in Cancun)

Oh no………marriage is not all that bad…
Now when I look back…it has been a beautiful experience right from the time I first met him till I next see him….lounging on the sofa with his shoes under the dinning table….shirt hung from the bedroom door and pants swiping the floors…..and after a little chaos….it shall resume being a beautiful experience. But seriously marriage is that contentment….that happiness that consumes you to totality….that all the little tiffs you have just make you love each other more……

Its only now that things have settled or atleast they have started settling…..life setting a pace for itself…..otherwise it was pretty much a hectic affair past couple of months…winding up stuff at Bangalore……parlour sessions….dress rehersals……relatives teasing you……..lunches…dinners….airports…immigrations…..new York….houston….monterrey….

that somewhere in the middle of all this we got married……

durachari.....bhrastachari....bol sorry

2007-09-13T13:22:00.000-05:00

Sometime you draw your inspiration for an indulgence in some deviation purely to abstain yourself from cribbing and probably reacting to the cab drivers, delays in the cab service and the way the trips are timed.
So as I sit stranded in this cab in god knows which level of basement parking I am basically irritated, for your simple conclusions.

So finally done with my bit of ventures and adventures of getting myself a broad band connection at home. Being officially entitled to it is one part of the story, I am looking at the net connection as a cheaper option compared to the crazy ISD tariff plans for some obscure place as Mexico. Mexico is cool as long as it about their tequila…..or chimichanga…or espaniol…and for the guys…the babes for sure….
but mind ya fellas…..when a pulse rate of 10/min hits you………you need to be adopted by Bill Gates or Laxmi Mittal……to sponsor the bills……since that seems like a remote possibility I am relying on Sharukh uncle for endorsed airtel broad band. And for the convenience of mathematically and literally challenged souls yes baby I have airtel broad band connection at home.

he ha ha ha ha

p.s: As for the tiltle......inspired from a very famous...hilarious...hindi movie....lets see how good you guys are at guessing it!!

fish 2 fish!

2007-08-28T07:06:00.000-05:00

I need a fish to do some fishing. Ain’t that simple!

5 things I guess I might write down now

BRITSs v/s AMs……!! That’s what is the tug all about…….I just can’t get used to this new British style keyboard at all……..last night it took me nearly an hour to type in a simple mail which otherwise would not have taken more than 10 mins otherwise on a regular keyboard.
I loathe Monday mornings! (whats new…come to think of it!)
‘To infinity…….and beyond’……now this one is for you guys to guess as to what sits on my desk.
I have a huge list of Things to Do before marriage in January. And to top the list is ‘Leh-n-ga Shopping’…………….which I eventually did over this weekend…..I am still to overcome its blinding effect with all the lights and bulbs used for decoration…..and you know what they call those bulbs used ‘sarwaoski’(ROTFL)……and something strange that hit me on the face was the crazy prices for an outfit that I would wear only once in my lifetime…(expression on the face as though had a bite of a tender fresh thin green chilli). Neways for on any queries on this subject matter I guess I have become prim and proper to hold a seminar. (Admissions open till 30th August *Conditions Apply)
I am yet to get my new assignment so maybe that’s why I have this time to myself to write in my blog and that too in the office timing. This I would credit to the supposed honeymoon period I am currently enjoying in my new organization before probably I am hit with astronomical proportions of work

Cheers ;)

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2007-07-17T04:07:00.000-05:00

hi guys............just after popping in a mentos...."batti jala de" part did happen for me......just realized that haven't updated my blog......in quite sometime........
trust me...life's been a roller coaster ride.....and......meteorological department predicts.....that maybe second week august......the author shall finally revive her dedication to this blogging world.....
as of now....she is engaged as in shaadi wala engaged and probably too lost and dazed to even figure out her actual name!! :)

c ya then!!

jo`

So Finally.......!!!!!!

2007-06-02T07:48:00.001-05:00

Considering the amount of threats i recieved in my offline messages its better that i mark my attendance.....but surprising i thought no one ever reads my stuff........................well.....now that i have turned pink at this realization that no matter how insignificant you might think about what you write....people are there to read and appreciate it. ......thanks a ton!! :))

I am sure you might not be interested in knowing the reasons for my absconding status for past couple of days and more so definitely not interested in the monotonic story of eat sleep work hectic schedule story i might just plan to put forth for my defence.
Well there is nothing like that! Lets accept the truth that I just couldn’t get the dedication for writing this post on track. But then had the responsibility of this promise to keep.
To the sham that I am
Okay now I know you were waiting for the fashion week update…….mmmm…it was fun…loads of work…loads of running around………and loads of happening………celebs starts…gossip……the so called elite society…..but trust me its only fun to witness and be a part of the paparazzi crowd….but not be a part of it all……..you don’t have a quotient of privacy……..the insecurity and artificial colors of this industry of glamour and glitz …..It’s a little depressing….
Okies the only spicy gossip I can load you guys with is……my real big fight with model cum DJ Meghna which involved shouting at each other in the green room and of course exchange of a few pleasantries. Imagine the green room rush especially when the show is on and 12 designers are on back to back….I was helping one of the real sweet babes with her outfit and I hear this babe shouting…..”Excuse me”…..and add to that a nasty look….phir kya…….
Meghna: Can’t you see I am in a hurry
Me: left wondering…..yeh kya hua….!!????
Me: Don’t shout……..in defence
Meghna: I am working here……….even she zapped at this blunt delivery
Me: SO?....... I really don’t bother bout that….you are not doing me a favor…….

Enough now………nothing more happened….and I know you craving for more of that cat fights…..
I guess the pressure on each one of us got on with this sudden display of affection.

Acha chalo pics dekho………

now this is where I stayed in Mumbai......on marine drive.........it was sexy..........I know a little too provocative word....but then......it really was......

and down below.........thats how the fashion cafe was a day before the event.......
and there you see the before after............look at the make over which happened over night.....

and this is the chaos for trails and fittings...........which was like two days before the start of the event......
( i got tired of loading the pics, so thats why you see this boout of creativity on display... :) )

okies....its thats me with bhai.....helping him with sorting out stuff.....tagging it......down below on the right is our messy suite......and down left is taken at the time of out trial and fitting session.....the day for loads of chic chic...caffeine.....time for a little jitters as you see what the other designers have in their kitty for the show...
And there up on the right...is one of the model getting her trials with our outfit.........
mmmmmmm.........................................

and now the some pics of the main show area........

Loads of celebs walked the ramp this time for the designers.....like
Riya Sen for Abhishek Dutta
Kelly Dorgi for Agnimitra Paul
Sushmita with her Daughter for Neela Lulla
Karan Johar
Yana gupta
Katrina Kaif.......bla bla bla......I have lost the count now......

The evening slot for each day was booked by some or the other high profile designer like Vikram Phadnis....Wendell Rodricks....Neeta Lulla...bla bla bla.......and so a hoard of bollywood celebs would turn up......it was a real treat for all the press personnel’s....So you can find all the not so happening celebs in my camera memory.......because happening stars were just taken over by the press....And by evening I use get so drop dead tired that........I just needed to hit the sack that all these so called celebrities could just "GO FISH!" ........poor autor of this page here........really tired....hiding herself under the clothes rack.........

Adios....!

some scribblings........and I don't have a name for it yet!!

2007-05-17T03:23:00.001-05:00

In trodden efforts of calling life
Stumbling to keep the rhythm alive
Of the pain I once so endured
I thought I had the grip secured

Stumbling to keep the rhythm alive
I battered every hope in the stride
Lived a row in those floundering tears
And the etch of those smitten smears

Of the pain I once so endured
It was a feeling that had me whole
It was a pain I so endured
For that was what he last bestowed

And I thought I had the grip secured
Of this pain I so endured
In that effort of calling life
I missed on counting for the time

Time to which I lost it all
Like the trails in the winter fall

Time to which I lost it all
Conjured this fervor to thickness of “void"

I lost it all......to this smile
Smile in the sheath of realizing life

Woooo!!

2007-03-13T06:39:00.002-06:00

Looks like it has been quite sometime that I actually got on writing. I did open my laptop with the earnest intentions to sit down and write but then I would have to call them constipated efforts. Oh yeah I got on to this simile because the other day in my friends house I saw her nephew sitting on the baby customized shit pot......squeezing his gut out....face fully red......making noises to get the effect right....
So I tried those constipated efforts but then all in vain. I kept writing and backspacing and then finally gave up the effort till today when I just opened the word document and just got on........

Amidst all the chaotic life that I had couple of day’s back I am very much alive heart rate normal and ofcource no congestion and constipation happening :)
I am back on my traveling spree both official and personal trips lined up for the season.
Last week I was in Chennai and no one was ready to believe that I am off to Chennai for official work. When asked where I am traveling I would say
"Chennai",
They would go like...."oooooooooooo ghar jaa rahi ho".....
But for once trip to Chennai was fun. Mom dad were there maybe that’s why.
Or maybe it was living the childhood days after so long. Everything about that day was like back flash from the past. Everything has remained the same, some how only I grew old. My dad had his office and since it was Friday he had that combat dress as his uniform. Wooo! man I saw him in that after ages......fact that he was deputed on different role for past nine years and suddenly he is back in his original army men attire. My mum was running around with the household chores for she too had a ladies meet to attend later in the day. And I was jumping around as usual for I had office to attend (and the baba adam zamana I am relating this to I use to attend school).
My mum nearly killed me forcing down that glass of milk down my food pipe. I don't know what sadistic pleasure she gets doing that. And then I left the house running and trampling over half of the ghar ka saman. I couldn't finish my breakfast and was holding bread slices walking down to the colony gate with my shoulder bag on...and then I see these kids running off to the "Three Ton" standing at the gate...to pick up kids for the school or rather "Army School"......
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.............................for a min it felt that I am one among them......going to school after my summer holidays....holding my project charts...dragging my milton water bottle....reminding myself that the first period is maths and I still haven't completed my homework...and how terrible the teacher is.........and that
Anurag ......he got half mark more than me....in the unit test last year....
and Pragati.....what does she think of herself...man she is such a bully...
and Gaurang .....he should be in zoo.....he looks like the chimp of Moroccan dessert...
Kunal .....well when will he learn to get his math’s textbook....
Ridhwick...I’ll kill him the next time he stamps on my foot...
Mudhita...I hope she has finished my English assignment (yeah I was that devil to distribute the writing work among my friends......and yet I have the edacity to call others bully...ain't that cute)
now before I get too emotional about those days...lets talk something ......
yeah....my trip to Mumbai.....in the coming days....
Lemme give you guys the absolute rapchik khabbar…..guess what I am going for the Lakme Fashion Week....as in I’ll be there for the entire duration of the event....working with my friend and his bro.
I promise I’ll keep this post updated with all the spicy gossips for you guys to catch up with….
Neways I’ll wind this post for I am to run and meet my long lost buddy from school….a little reunion happening you see….

Loner Looser Complicated Wreck!

2007-02-18T13:30:00.000-06:00

Totally appalled by the blunt delivery!
BUT from the moment I heard I knew that I was shy half a mile from liking this stuff.

Loner looser complicated wreck…………………..so ladies and gentle men presenting to you the movie which deserves my time to be writing about at such noble hour of the night……”The Holiday”……AND I am not getting paid for writing anything good about this movies.
I have been reading reviews about this movie and looks like people are quite cynical and a little too rude. Okay agreed the story was hard to imagine type, a fairy tale sorts. But is that an indicator that you cannot enjoy it.
It was subtle and maybe cheesy (vinegar dipped!) but yet had the power to overwhelm you in a pleasant manner .

And some of the dialogues did touch me to have this kind of an impact that I am sitting here writing my heart out. Okay I might not be close to writing it the same way as it was delivered by Kate Winslet in the movies, none the less it just means the same…..

And then it aches in all the places that you never knew exist inside you!!

How better a break up could get…..

It was genuine to talk about the emotional sentiments of love. In its faint attempt to woo the audience somewhere it grows on you to at least have a genuine cute little smile on your face.

(and that shall be it to keep it short and simple(that i almost fell in love with Jude Law)!)

i have no clue as to what title to give.....maybe its better that way!! ;)

2007-02-10T14:20:00.000-06:00

Its past midnight and the only reason I am wide awake with no signs of going off to sleep for another hour or so is probably is that I am in good mood to write. Now the irony is that I don’t know what to write about. I know that it sounds really crazy, but that’s how it is. Its like some “write-something” bug has bitten you and your mind is absolutely blank at this sudden urge of writing that nothing comes to your mind. Height is that I am playing with my office assistant of the excel sheets I am simultaneously working on apart from writing this post. Even that doggy assistant is so irritated with me that he is giving me those “disgusting-lady-go-off-to-sleep” looks

Anyways today after a hectic day of going to a dozen of places and meeting another four dozen of acquaintances we headed for coffee at Barista on MG Road post dinner. And must say that its a lovely place to be. I like the music that keeps humming there, all the junk and punk crowd that comes there, the cool breeze to just elevate your mood perfect with the smooth blend of a hot coffee.

This last week was some fun at work. We had two days of training and must say it was like a breather from the monotony of office-dum. After a long time it was the revival of being those college junks being the backbenchers, sms-ing your office pals, fighting fatigue and troubleshooting on the assignment problems and case studies.
Also after all the drab and drool...and the secluded boredom I was cribbing about couple of days back, I decided to break free.....and help myself.....this is no movie happening that some George Clooney will come down to make life little happening and exciting.
First in the list of things- I-intend-to-do is join some sports......something that has the ability to exhaust you....drive you....motivate you....help you concentrate……fell the passion types! It has to be badminton for me......I can play it......and I like playing it.

Oh yeah finally watched the movie I was longing to watch for quite sometime “Blood Diamond”
The movie was grappling with the power to consume you to totality. It was raw to depict the phantasmagoric greed of humans driving them to the extremes of inane brutality. I sat there in the theater transfixed with the entire understanding on conflict diamonds, juxtapose of what is displayed in the posh plush malls to where it originally belongs and how its brought all along. I liked Leonardo’s performance for once to the hilt of appreciation. Movie on a whole is a deserving candidate for the Oscars.

Now before I get a notice from the PETA society on charge of both physical and mental assault to the doggy office assistant I named Bonzy to do all sorts of acrobatics and Jim Carrey animations , I better wind my post here.

Burrrrrrday!

2007-02-08T00:13:00.000-06:00

Hap Hap Happy Burrrrrday........Bloggy!!

ripples again......

2007-02-02T01:40:00.000-06:00

To the sham that I am I again woke up at late in the morning. And with jut one hour to make it to the office do I need to elaborate that the mess I was in? Clothes not ironed, hot water tap refuses to pour that ounce of generosity, toaster burning the bread slices.

Why can’t I get up early in the morning and be a little more organized?

AAAAhhhh…now I know why!

I was watching “Stepmom” on tv. It was kinda loaded. Loaded in the every sense of the word. The cast is amazing. Has to be, if Julia Roberts is in there! And I agree I cried my heart out while watching the movie.
Digress; it about two kids Anna and Ben have to settle to this bitter reality that their parents are getting divorced. Father has a new female in his life, Isabel. Isabel is genuinely in love with Luke but is torn between her job as a successful photographer and learning to accept the role of being the mother and being accepted as one. Anna and Ben love their mother Jackie and have that impulsive disliking for Isabel. But eventually in due course of time they develop a genuine liking for Isabel but feel guilty for that would hurt their mother. Jackie had been a perfect mother dedicated to her kids. She in no way finds it easy to settle her kids with Isabel. Its like two ladies who were forced not to like each other though they understood each other completely. And then Jackie is diagnosed with terminating cancer. That’s where it all sobers down. They all are a family again, a complete family.

And when such a loaded movie finishes, it stays in your head for a little while.
But something interesting I could decipher was that love is not just related to the physical being of the individual. Somewhere in the immixes of reality and fantasy its more to do with the association with that individual, connection of the soul or lets say the contentment of being with him/her.
Trust is another word I see half of the population in this world flaunting about when asked about relationships, including me. But is it as simple as it sounds. Over a period of time this trust has evolved new understanding for me. I strongly feel that is not a one sided affair as is perceived by majority. If its on you to give somebody that comfort and base to trust you its equally the responsibility of the other individual to have trust in you. “Trusting” the claims of people that life is a sinusoidal curve………this two way connection of trust is the only thing that probably can give you that grip in that trough of those tense dicey situations……

One night spend to watch the movie and another to write about it…….and before I spend another night contemplating the beauty of the vastness of complexities in relationship……I better hit the sack

Good night……

and you guys keep smiling always..... :)

Song on my winamp: luka chuppi bahut hui…………

Curry Hangover

2007-01-29T06:02:00.000-06:00

A hopeless weekend and top it all a hopeless start of the week. Perfect ripe conditions for a cribber like me to go on and on.
Any ways chuck it; I won't bug you with the plethora of the minor details. But just a little brush up on the little things that have been irritating me for quite sometime

My alarm clock barking every morning. Then the mind goes on a spin with this chain of thoughts….going to office, the cold water from the tap, SDW budget, meeting at 10, what to wear to office, budget validation, and butt on the cold pot surface. Ouch! I get up with a harried zombie look on the face....something similar to what you would embrace....if you learnt jimmy shregill is dating bipasha basu.....(well yeah I once actually dreamt that!)
The stupid breakfast that I get every single day.........its eggs, eggs and yes its eggs........one more of those omelets or boiled eggs or those sunny side up......I am due for a suicide attempt
Office-------system error------file name not found-------a drill with the frills (I know now you guys are gonna curse me for this PJ))

I am tired of working, tired of reading books, tired of watching movies, tired of thinking (looks like). Everything looks boring now. Why????????

As for the title……my dubbawalla’s sad lunch was another instigator to this cribbing session

Song: main aisa kyun hooon……main aisa kyun hoooooon

too too tai tai

2007-01-19T04:11:00.001-06:00

Okay I have been able to steal some time and I better utilize that to at least make my status......ALIVE

Was back in office after all the Bharat Darshan two week back but since then I am pilled up with soooooooooooooo... much of work that even these O's seem less to give you the picture and here I am typing in my soliloquy. You call it being shameless or just a chilled out attitude, your choice but I needed a break before I open those disgusting excel sheets and make some sense out of them.

My friend finally made up his mind to buy an apartment....I was the ready "bali ka bakra" best friend available.....so imagine on Sunday nine in the morning with a meager breakfast you made to go all sought of dusty obscure places (supposedly the outskirts of the city) for a little taste of the cement and smell of soaked up bricks......or maybe I am sounding too much of a cribber.
These builders had amazing marketing strategy....now these XYZ builders had this modup apartment....i.e. the model apartment ready...for you to have a feel and idea of the layout. The interiors of this mod up apartment smelled of 20 lakhs face lift treatment...wooden flooring for master bedroom.......flat big size TV on the wall......sexy sofa sets...even more sexy kitchen setup......dinner table laid out complete with wine glasses......initially I was totally bowled over.....flattered....fell in love with the place.......

but wait wait wait.......

where are the lofts to put in the luggage.....what....the drawing room isn't having any width at all...no wonder the flat wall TV to make it look spacious......and what is this floor area includes the lift area....and the common lobby.......
So after counting the number of zeros 1 crore has my friend has figured out that he needs to sell his happiness in name of marriage for a dowry no less than a crore........what great realization!!!
Neways I feel that the real estate prizes here in Bangalore are going up faster than the French jet Concorde...

Watching the much awaited movie of the season Guru was quite a damper to the spirit with which we went...it never felt that it some stuff directed Mani Ratnam.....it didn't have the feel and appeal of what this director is known for....I have still not been able to appreciate what visionary was this chap Guru....its a contradict between calling him a capitalist or visionary...

Some people have a hangover after boozing all night...well I had a different one....I had a hangover after watching movies all night, back to back...okies lets start the count...so after Guru, I watched...Pyar ke Side effects (I have practically deleted coffee from my list of addictions), RDB (first part...till DJ is feeding the buffalo practicing lines........second part is a little loaded...so conveniently avoided it....to avoid my emotional roona dhoona...), Khosla Ka Ghosla (this movie has much more than being just another hilarious movie...more than that it is beautiful the way it bridges the generation gap....something ....we all suffer from especially while dealing with our elders..).......then Bhagam Bhag....(now that’s where I started to doze off.......I don't know the story I can't comment...nor do wish to comment)......

Something very filmily interesting about the movies are....one song...with girls with tears trickling down her eyes.....getting drenched in the rain....sipping coffee in sad mood with no make up on.....working overtime......guy in his own world....desponded....walking alone to down some cemetery......5 mins or max to max 7 mins and the bad times are......... poof in the air...rahu kaal over!!....there comes your silver lining....party time is back......wish real world was that simple.....

Anyways my rahu kaal is still not over......I better head back to my work with the usual disgusting excel sheets........
About the title...this is the new term I have picked up from my roomie....new replacement for "bla bla".....

teeny weeny post

2007-01-12T05:01:00.000-06:00

In one of the fleeting moments of life....which currently seems restricted between office and home....I received this utterly flattery SMS from my friend.
"Are you thinking about treating me tonight?"

The shear innocence (I am assuming that for my convenience) or simply the cool style with which this message was send one fine day out of the blue .....compelled me to reward it with a
"Yes"

hyd.....uncensored

2007-01-06T06:45:00.000-06:00

My hindi has a new flavor to it, something like
“mein sadkaa kross karko ayaaaaaaaaaaa” (I crossed the road and came)
“hum aisa karaan to yeh hota!” (If we do like this it'll will happen)
“mein jako aaaeee” (I went and came)
The traffic in here can be best described by the superlative degree of horrendous.
Practically I guess the only thing that works in the vehicles here is the accelerator.
Sitting in an auto, you actually have to pledge your life into their hand. I don’t even have an insurance cover. Every reason to feel …….jelly jelly jam jam.
Well this one is for the whole of Andhara. The language has lots of those “cha, chae, chu” sounds. Now please that was not said with any derogatory intentions. Like tullu (Mangalore side language) has loads of these “ pa, po , pe” sounds. Bengali sounds like a guy stuffed with roshugulla’s attempting to speak.
The food here is rich with flavors. Its spicy, so better watch out. Because maybe for the moment you might enjoy it. Results can only be interpreted next day morning!
This is the land of chutneys. And as the punk kid sitting next to me would say its “ooooooosummm” (would have to thank Abhinav for bringing that expression out)
The dhaba culture has developed well here around Hyderabad. Its no more restricted to Punjab. You getting the point….its all about national integration.
You better don’t mess around doing any comparison between ITPL and Hi Tech city. Don’t attempt to give that cute naughty smirk and say “yeah yeah whats so great!”. They might just burn down your effigy and have a protest. And that would make it sad 15 mins to fame.
Now this one is a real observation……I too share this opinion that people up north are a little rowdy. But then why alone up north…people here are no less haughty……maybe they can give a real budge to out bhai logan up north.
Hyderabad and Bangalore have this swelling competition for the upcoming International airports. Auto bhaiyas and all the sreenath, srinivas, venkats are pretty emotional about this. I can already sense the threat if Bangalore finishes it before Hyderabad.
Chiranjeevi rocks! This is one interesting place where people can be all pepped up to watch a movie even at 7 in the morning, the time I would to prefer to just slop on the bed and kick anybody who puts on the TV.
And how I had this on my list?
The guy next door in the hotel has this obnoxious habit to put on the TV loud at six in the morning playing the telgu movie (identified with those “cha, chu” sounds I told you about).This is very similar to what my roomie use to do when were in hostel in the engg days. I remember once we had practically planned to murder her. But then ended up playing her fav telgu movie early in the morning on her birthday.

title!!!!!..............no title!

2007-01-05T00:05:00.000-06:00

Come the 20 th december and the talks about the new year bash is a constant hum no matter whoes conversations you eavesdrop. I practically said yes to every party plans my friends here chakled out. And then J knew that maybe this is not what I want. So finally relieved I disappeared from the face of Bangalore for a few days.....

Oh I was home with my family after six long years......and it was refreshing peacful new year.....plum cakes...expresso coffee....easing ourselves in the garden chairs in the verandah......gazing the stars above........humming songs in unison.....mom dad remembering the good old days......when me and my sis were the little naughty kids doing su su in our nappies.......and when i had stuck a crayon piece in my nostril and couldn't take that out......when my sis burned her butt sitting on the gas stove mistaking it to be a stool.......when i threw my shoes in the manhole in our backyard...for i wanted a new pair....
I missed this for soooooooooo long!

The other thing which was different was the trip to the blind school. It was my dads idea. So we wrapped up all the old clothes to give away.........bought some sweets......the standard ration supplies as was instructed by the caretaker of the school.......and made it to the school to meet all the lovely....naugthy little kids.
I don't want to write about what all they are deprived of, what tough life they lead . It was wonderful to see them all smile....play with them and make them laugh....

It was blissful!

Once in love always in love........

2006-12-28T19:18:00.001-06:00

I didn’t even have the tiniest of the urge to oppose this statement which was snapped at me.
It had me, it had my entire being. It had that innocence which will for ever gleam in my eyes. It was beautiful. And it had its destiny to part us both. It’s needless to say that it was very painful. It indeed was!
It was the slowest fragment of the life I was to lead.
But today having lived through those days……when I look back…..I feel that strong sense of composure. I am happy I made it this far on my own.
It was slow and painful and maybe it was good that way……I could see beyond what circumstances had to offer. I would be a lie if I say that I wasn’t impulsive. But I was tempered to face maybe the real larger truth. I cannot infuse into me a hatred which is not heart felt. I tried hating and I miserably failed. I can’t fuel and pump in my ego. I can’t reciprocate it back with those venomous potions of hatred. I learned to move on in my life and never look back. Never regret.
And maybe I learned something more. In life sometimes the greatest pleasure is to just…..let go…..
The greatest sense of happiness is in loving unconditionally, no matter what destiny offers you.

And I am happy and proud that I learned these small little beautiful things, I am sure most of us would be oblivious to, or maybe can’t relate to. Today I have my enthusiasm back, a grip on my life. I am excited and apprehensive about what future has to offer me. But above all I am confident to take on this journey of life.

I guess its good to sometimes to spend sometime with yourself. Get to know what all thoughts your mind has woven in the sub conscience mind when you were busy dealing with the world around.

Now before people here at the airport call me a big show off. I guess I better wrap up.

Happy new year……….to all you guys out there!!

Cheers

Googling the earth

2006-12-26T14:11:00.000-06:00

What do you do when.....
a) You are on a flight for n th time in a week
b) window seat
c) food isn't exciting
d) with the most boring company around
e) with your fav book is dug deep inside your cabin baggage and you are feeling lazy
f) ipod is low on battery
h) sleep is the rarest commodity
i) you have a camera in your hand

Please SMS your answers to 7278 and win exciting prizes.

Neways some snaps to savor the moment

This one is the road leading to the Mekri Circle

And this is the Bangalooroo's Vidhan Soudha

This is the famous Kanteerva Stadium

This one is the area where I stay.....................Ulsoor!!

Okay.......its time to hit the bed!!
Till then its me ....signing off......

Good Night!!

In the land of nizams, nawabs and biryani....!!

2006-12-21T16:12:00.000-06:00

Yeah yeah I am in Hyderabad, that’s to save the trouble of you guys guessing!

And this trip is just happening as it could be!

I finally did it! I finally have one filmi seen to my credentials……..something similar to what Kajol had to her credentials in DDLJ……………..getting on a running train…and I am making it to Karan Johar’s next movie….
but trust me I get those jimjams thinking about it!

The train journey had nothing exciting. It was bunty’s mummy and bittu’s papa hogging samosa’s and bhel puri. I almost passed out with the smell of their farts later on, add to the effect, it was an AC compartment. Atrocious! Laloo needs to ban such eateries on train. Its quite harmful for the co -passengers.
I slept smelling my socks…..they smelled better….saachi…...my only armor for dark smelly nights

Checked in my hotel early in the morning…….the room was a delight and the respite to my poor soul…….the bed was the yummiest thing in vicinity……and I was the gapping at it till eternity till the bell boy bought in my luggage…….

And the best was yet to happen….yippie…..I had the luxury of a bath tub……so after a little nap……I was making my bath tub ready for the big bubble bath…yahoo!
I just got in relaxing and easing out…meditating in the peaceful silence …..and then there is a

“ting tong”…..

Me: who is it?

Guy Outside: house keeping…….

To myself: %^&* off!

“ting tong”…….

Me: who is it?

Guy Outside: room service

To myself: @#$% off!

“ting tong”……..

(without my asking!)

Guy outside: laundry

Me: That’s it I am going to kill you!

Finally got so disgusted that drained off the water and reverted to the age old bucket and mug method of having bath!

Yeah considering the little diet profile I am maintaining almost choked myself ordering a fruit juice and fruit platter. The menu card read…….exotic fruits…….
Yeah they looked very exotic……..
mosambi chopped off like chicken breast pieces,
papaya…the only thing edible…
apples…..they were SAD…… dented like my neighbors car bonnet
and
banana…was under the scheme of help your self to peel…….

EXOTIC..............my foot!!!!!!!

Its now 3:46 AM and I guess I need to catch up some .....................exotic Hyderabad sleep!

cheers

Hum Tum

2006-12-21T08:50:00.000-06:00

To The Devil Himself!

2006-12-19T05:45:00.000-06:00

He is majestic the way he made Arjun Singh commit to the fact that increasing the quota for reservations for the higher education is not justified a claim of the government.
It was brilliant the way he practically ripped apart Ram Jethmalani. No defiance to the fact that every individual has the right to justice, probably for which Ram Jethmalani was prepared. Devil’s Advocate Karan Thapar tore him apart on grounds of immorality, of trying to malign the image of an innocent girl, practically accused him for the gimmicks for publicity with Manu Sharma’s defense, Tamarind Court case.

But felt equally bad when he miss quoted MK Narayanan, defense advisor that the leads in the Bombay Train Blast are not enough to justify Pakistan’s probe and almost made that the breaking news for days to come.

But the other day with Mani Shankar Ayar it was a wholesome sumptuous meal. After a long time it was practically a debate. For once some body stood to that level of which Mr. Advocate seem to have an advantage of, sound command over language. For once some one could outwit with smart remarks and absolutely cool attitude, not technically and intellectually though. Yeah you got me right not technically and intellectually though!
About the all the grammatical and literature exegeses of the PM speech Mr Ayar coolly washed off his hands saying that probably PM should have an efficient speech writer just like Mr Rajiv Gandhi had during his tenure as a PM. Brilliant!
And for people still trying to put two and two together it was Mr Ayar himself, the speech writer for Mr. Rajiv Gandhi. What a way to talk highly of one self and get your work appreciated.

I am absolutely convinced with what Karan Thapar had to put across. I myself was the victim of poor understanding of the speech delivered by the PM on the first claim on the resources. Am deeply hurt, that the entire policy of reservation rests itself on something as sad as social divide, rather than the economic divide it should target. Nowehere these issues were addressed by Mr Ayar.

But still Mani Shankar Ayar did that job of making his dirty linen look clean with an élan`. Leaving our “Humpty Dumpty”……. Karan Thaparin the Allice In Wonderland.

Are you dieting???

2006-11-23T02:40:00.000-06:00

I am going to just slap the next person who throws that as a demeaning remark. Yeah I am dieting. And I am concerned about my weight just like the inflation rate in India. Can’t you see I am hardly able to fit in my cargo anymore? An inch extra and I am sure the button would pop out at the most embarrassing moment believing the postulates of Murphy’s Law. Won’t anybody diet when on a steady weight gain? What’s wrong to start with?
I hate you for even asking me this question. Wait till I find where you went for that liposuction and ask you in public about that...you..... through and through product of VLCC.

But guess i need to temper my anger of a jangli billi.....

one two three...relax.....breathe in...breathe out....

Now it looks a lot better.

Ok lady I pardon you for that.

But watch out next time. You don't know what an emotional assault this can be. You can't even relate to the pain of the draining money for the party outfit you bought from Wills Lifestyle last month that won't agree to fit you in now. And then the supreme sacrifice of those muffins and chocolates and ice creams. Wait there is more getting up in the morning for yet another day of a diet of a malnutritioned Ethiopian baby.

But at least I am not like you going to some plush slimming center and saying

Yeah I have this party tomorrow and i really want to look a hot chick my boy friend is going to be there(i want him to drool all over me and no one else)...so plz could you....help me with 10 gms left butt and maybe 15 from the right...

And yeah a little of that sea weed therapy for that extra flat tummy......I can't afford a paunch u c......

At least I am honest enough in loosing it the right way......control my eating and exercising.....
Not like you.......hog like a pig and still say...

O I just don't put on weight no matter what....

(yeah some people mat be that way...but you are not that at all....saw you one month back and you were the size of a bulldozer).....

So the moral of the story is that never ask this question with that pun intended.......and make this world a better place for you and me and the entire universe.....

kuch kuch khatti kuch kuch meethi….

2006-11-21T10:38:00.000-06:00

Well looks like it has been quite some time that I was away. You know the much needed break. Had been on a vacation. A long one. :)

Missed so much on catching up on blogs. Well as I had once written to somebody in a mail, blog reading has become such a habbit that, its like a daily chronicle of existence. Who plans to cut their nail , who bunked their classes. Once or twice some people giving their newly evolved gyan about life, critics about movies, how dirty is someones room and when they are planning clean it.

namashkar aaj ke mukhiya samachar

A ne aple blog par aaj is baat ka khulasa kiya woh aaj bina brash kiye class attend karne chale gaye.

K ji ke bagal walon ke kutte ka aaj dehant ho gaya.Wai 11 saal ke the. Is gum mein vibhoor hokar aaj K ne do batli desi tharra piya aur bahut sara linkin park suna "aant mein kisi cheez ka koi mulya nahi hota" (in the end it doesn't even matter.......................)

S is impressed with the add for X Box and has given clear signal to the correct application of preachings of Kottler......aur unhe bhi ghee wali chapatti pasand hai............

Naughty N liked the movie Lage raho munna bahi. She is planning to watch it for the 6th time with her frands and this time only cheese pop corn and no caramel flavor.

samachar samapt hue

Ain't that interesting.......? Sometimes this evokes more curiosity than the latest between Ash and Abhi (meri bechaari Rani...)

fun is that you realize how vibrant life is......and everybody has something to share including me...like i just did....

bahut peraablum hai naaa...

2006-10-17T08:36:00.000-05:00

Bahut problem hai babua!

Grass is always greener o the other side. And I am sure I don’t need to elaborate on that point.
It’s a point accepted fair and square. When were in college, we were desperate to go out and start working. Thought that was the coolest thing to happen on planet earth. And now when in the mundanity of so called professionalism dying to get back to those “purani jeans….aur guitar”

I am currently reading the Indian penal code clauses, anything to support my cause against my child marriage. I know I am 23, gaining weight steadily, very soon to qualify for “hakuna matata philosophy pumba”..(that lion king warthog!). But I am still a kid at heart. And now you want me to start off with “pie lagoon saasu maa!”…….okies I am ready to wear sarees to office but no….no…marriage is something atrocious at the moment. It’s a claustrophobic feeling come to think of all the jargons of pran-nath and ardhangini. Mum dad looks absolutely fabulous together. Lets just keep the ideal definition and chemistry of marriage till there.

And these wonderful thought are definitelty making the grass really greener on the other side!

but then its besides the point.................... :)

a note to myself!

2006-10-16T14:42:00.000-05:00

It was the day of sad demise of any bit of determination I ever had in life. It wasn’t me anymore. I felt like a living dead fitted with some mechanical bearings to somehow scrape through the rigmarole of “just about surviving”. And it was a slow and painful process of making it up each day. Each day a step more to accepting the reality. Each day with in an urgency to address “why me” and being confronted with nothing but silence.

I wasn’t even hopeful that I did make it this far.

But today I don’t want to be lifeless, another lump of heart uselessly beating. I want my enthusiasm back.
It’s been days that I haven’t confronted myself on this
It’s been days that I haven’t cried out aloud for it really did hurt
It’s been days that I mingled with people and have had a hearty laugh
It’s been days that I have been my casual self
It’s been days that I smelt fresh in my thoughts

It’s been days that I smiled as the most genuine expression.

And now I want it all back.
I am to have it all back.

Song for my mood:
Another ditch in the road you keep moving….
…..another stop sign you keep moving…..on

And the years go by so fast…..
……wonder how I ever made it through…

(savage garden….two beds and a coffee machine)

2 X 2 =

2006-10-09T09:40:00.000-05:00

Its been a long day in front of the excel sheets, crunching numbers. Scores of numbers running into several sheets. Supposedly with sophistications comes the word data. What amazes me is the might of this so called data to make or break a business scenario. And if my Anova model continues to serve me with an overfed p values I look doomed even before I can propose a change.
Before I dive back again into that marsh of slimy numbers with body system powered by caffeine, I think I can divulge into some wandering thoughts.
This rigorous assault with the numbers has triggered one food for thought, purpose of life. More I plunge myself into understanding of people around and reading extensively about some of the great personalities worldwide, it’s a realization that I am not alone. But that doesn’t help me.
It gives me a rudimentary understanding that it is essential part of evolution of one’s own self in terms of matured insight to various aspects of life. Importantly that defines an individual’s focus for himself/ herself. All along what navigates these thoughts are your principles.
And this looks more of the philosophical gibberish in my version of You Can Win.
Recursive, it still doesn’t help me with My Purpose!
This is not making me sad but definitely puts me on a desperate attempt.
A thing of immediate consequence surely entices and puts your mind completely on its accomplishments. On a broader long term perspective, where is it all leading?
Purpose……….purpose……

Walking this thin line of exhaustion between numbers and purpose, I guess I better head for the cafeteria for that caffeine dose.

p.s: What a wierd heading ! :)

a gentle reminder!

2006-10-09T00:51:00.000-05:00

Let’s talk of healthy criticism than flimsy statements.
And I am sorry but this is not the official site for people with any inclination for mud slinging activities.
I hope I have made myself amply clear

p.s. Regret being so assertive :)

please just go.....AwAy

2006-10-04T05:16:00.000-05:00

She sat there in a corner, frozen…..the only thing living about her were the tears rolling down her cheeks.

This definitely was not the intended purpose.
Sympathy is the last thing she wants from this world. And if expression gets anywhere closer to sympathy she would never be able to speak again. She doesn’t want anybody coming and preaching about evolution of emotions and relationship to the rest of the world. She doesn’t believe in those cowardly advices. And she is not afraid of any criticism. She expects nothing from someone who doesn’t feel secured about himself to start with.

She had once liked him and she still does….and there it end…..simply ends. She is on with her journey of life ahead, cherishing the memories of the past irreverent of the fact that they may be pleasant or not.

Do you know what mondays are like??......tell.....tell

2006-09-30T16:31:00.000-05:00

Monday mornings are bad!
I am sure you must have seen that add from where I draw my inspiration.
“Tata Safari Dicor”……if not the car, the advertisement was just superb….
“I want to quit on Monday morning!”

Lets not talk about the moralities of going to work, agreed you have a point and I have no plans to debate on that. But its about getting up 7 in the morning after two days of slumber sleep till 10. Its about opening your cupboard for an excavation in search of anything to fit in the professional clothing segment. Arry yaar yeh sab mein to mera bheja fry ho jatta hai. Sometimes I wear such weird and bad combinations that I get jealous seeing my gangu bai, house cleaning lady.
But seriously I am working on that. Ganga maiya ki kassam!
Its just that that the entire equilibrium gets a little imbalanced when I go shopping. I go out with a promise that I’ll pick up everything which is the so called formal wear or the suits salwars for a safe pick. But then mulla ki daud masjid tak. And I end up with fat bills for t-shirts, jeans, shoes. My maa says “kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi hotti hai kya!”

Life has its own ways. This one looks as though HR did a lot of strategy planning as to how to make Neha’s life more miserable on Monday mornings. I get to see this bulletin “all ladies are requested to assemble in HR’s cabin, 3 pm”. I was a fool to think it was the raise in salary getting funded by the nari bacaho andolan. And what to I get to see? Sarees as uniform code every Monday morning starting some god forsaken date.
HOLYCOWS! They could have simply asked me to leave the job, but why a saree?
A six meter/yard (kuch to bhi hai !) of cloth which can’t cover you properly or atleast not a fresher and a nervous geek like me. Oh there is more….the tension of the fall coming out. Think of climbing stairs and I am dead. Trust me its the feeling of a dead chicken with saree on.

But what if………………………….

What if Monday morning I get up to realize that I am suffering from loose motion and can’t make it to the office. It also can happen that I had just put the saree for a wash and it hasn’t dried up yet. Or wait a min……my drycleaner just burnt it. What if there is an oscar performance like …………….”Ooooooooooo I completely forgot about the Monday saree thingi”.
Wonder how many Mondays I shall be able to live up like this.

This definitely is the big thing happening in my life right now.

Why?????????

2006-09-26T07:53:00.000-05:00

Does every action in this world falls in the premise of logic?
Or that’s what I believed till about yesterday. Confronting yourself for something that happened and for which you don’t have a reason….probably was the most humbling experience. You just cannot address the simple "why"….you know the simple word "why". There was this need this urgency to address it for, for ages it was done that way and I was taught to believe it that way!
So this "why" got me thinking for bizarre 40 sleepless hours with no food and no sensible thought. Just a simple "why"!! I tried the age old solace methods of keeping myself engrossed, reading books, lying on the bed with my eyes wide open, going for a live concert by Hariharan (now that’s something that partially helped!.................man he is just amazing…………….)
Yeah so there was this me and this "why"!
But something somewhere maintained that buoyancy for me to stay afloat. Something that didn’t let me be lost somewhere in my shell rather it got me out.
It got me out to believing once again that life that existed around me. It was perfectly ok for me to be human and that I have every reason to move on in life. It helped me come out of my rigidity and the mould that I had set for myself for something which didn’t exist anymore.
But just be cautious......the catch 22 etchings!
The question that remains now is that, do I still need to address this "why"…..I choose not to and take no offense about that too.

World Peace Correspondent
Neha
Live from B’lore!!

If wishes were horses....beggars would ride...!!

2006-09-20T00:37:00.000-05:00

Past two days have been an ordeal……she had this urge to write……write something from a scratch which she had not done in a long time now. She actually writes diary addressing “Dear God!”........the only time she actually get to see herself, her thoughts. Its her burial ground for all her sorrows and confessions good or bad. The only time she dreams with her eyes wide open…..

And this she missed out for a long time maybe because……

Life is amusing, the only thing evident with each step that she takes towards reality.
Crawling baby just mustered the courage to trust its ownself for that first step. And maybe was not ready yet that, she land with a thud on her butt! (Ouch that hurts)

Trust is one of the dangerous words that she has encountered till date. What does it mean?
All truth and no lies.
What is a lie, lets start with that first!
She has her brains racking on this, god knows since when?

She genuinely fell in love…..that was NO lie.
It was one call and two strangers who started it all…….
Each passing day was directly proportional to the increase in the time chittering chattering on the phone (damn………… excuse her engineering background!). She was scared for she knew where it was heading. And emotions had their toll. It started with the usual addiction of talking to that one person about anything and everything under this sun. A business scenario and the inventory model to maybe the baby diapers and PMS.

And one day it was the magic word “YES” that gave it the life of a relationship. Don’t even ask her how it felt meeting him the first time. His flight was scheduled for 8:20 landing and she was in total jitters for the possible cardiac arrest due to shear excitement. And her few initial hours included answers like “aaaaaaaaaa………..”, “Huh!”, “woh!”……………………….gosh she felt so girlie girlie and was blushing that there was no need of any extra touch ups to get the effects. And then the first movie happened, first gift giving, first escalators rides, o the first of so many things she has no count of.

Her life revolved around him. Apart from the usual adjectives that she would add to his credentials, he gave her the courage to trust him. He gave her the basis to define contentment. He taught her what devotion really meant. He taught her about hopes and aspiration. He taught her to feel the passion. He gave her the taste of the fruits of his struggle. He showed her the scars etched on his heart with his past, the pain of which had her twitch. And from there on she walked a dual self, a part of him always in her heart.

Naive just like the newborn….all cuddled beside his mom………she felt, with his feeling so strong.

Every weekend jet airways were earning their revenue all thanks to this couple mad o freak in love. Hutch services were really happy with our performances of giving them crazy figures to bill. Somethings were fun like every weekend she learned more about market surveys. She was taught to see who was competing with whom. What were gondolas all about. They kinda romped every single departmental store in and around MG and Brigade.

But were two distinct souls in terms of the caste and creed and demographics. You know the kind of stuff that matters the most when it’s the question about parents. But they were prepared or maybe that’s what she thought. She knew that she had a lengthy battle in front of her. His parents had huge objection to this non Brahmin girl and her parents had their sets of reasons to give it the beating. But they persisted holding their front not to give up so soon. He had already accepted the outcast status with his folks and here her parents had this one liner… “if you want to go ahead go on……but don’t runaway and get married”. He wanted to go ahead and get married even if it meant earning our parents animosity.

Her dad gave her all possible logic to convince her, which if thought practically made sense. He said “bachha today you feel strong about each other, but with time there will be moments you would have some friction, some differences and then you would always want somebody to give you that strength, to bind you two together. And with no support from parents, from either of us……nor from his parents…..nor from us….how do you plan to cope up with that!”
To which she replied “ dad, hypothetically I get married to the guy you want me to get married to, the same situation is inevitable there also….what would you do when I come down to you all desponded and fretting for the so called guy is a jerk………you would console me…..talk to me but the underlying statement would be……baccha…aisa hotta hai….adjust karma sikho………well if that’s how it goes then I guess I am ready for that bit of adjustment with this guy”.
Both mom dad were in jitters and in a desperate attempt to have her mind off this guy. His parents shared the same line of thoughts. There was this sudden rush of rishta’s from every part of the world. And she was putting up with it for a reason.

A reason……………………….

She was the eldest daughter of the house, first child her parents had, so to say…………she was their first experience of parenthood. Who is talking about the bloodline here? It is something deeper.
Something deeper with every soiled diaper she gave them, every lipstick of mum she spoiled, to every wall on which she had the sketch pen drawing, to every tantrum she threw.
Something deeper with every stupid question she use ask to drive them crazy, to every grade she passed and had them tensed, every complain her teachers gave in the PTA meeting, to every nasty prank she played on all. Something deeper with every distress call of hers which had her parents on their toes, with every moment her dad spend with her giving her lessons on technicalities of life, with every moment her mum spend hugging her tight when she needed it the most. And now she had this guy who respected and loved her and she reciprocated it with same feeling for him.

She didn’t want to loose either of them. None!
She knew that the only strength she had was to persist. Persist till both the parents give up on their bent of mind, their rigidity, their inability to accept them. Persist to buy time to convince them, to make them a part of their intended union. To make them the part of the important decision they were to take.

So as she told you she was putting up with it. It took a lot of courage but then she knew he stood by her like a rock.

But something was just not right. She missing on any detail………..

Missing on details……

It was one of those god forsaken October evenings that her mum told her to meet this guy inspite of the fact that she knew she would just say plain NO. Inspite of the fact that he spoke to her parents. Inspite of every logical argument she had. She did go but then it happened in such a bizarre fashion that she missed out on telling him.
She told him when she came back from there. But then she had to face the music, the obvious music for missing out on telling him that moment itself.

It was like those hiccups in every relation.

It was Oct 23rd , and she knows that for sure. She got this news that one of her very best friends has expired. Trust her it was aching. She felt the pang, a little lump choking her breath.
Now this XYZee her mum asked to meet was not convinced with the NO that she had put on his platter that he caught me off guard in a mall. He needed a little clarification as to why it was a no, which she addressed with the outmost courage. His parents bumped into them and later another of her dads colleague with his family joined them. Her mum knew it all along.
It was raining cats and dogs here and she had no options but to be stranded with this entire congregation of her mums choice of prospective guy, his family, another family, another aunty ji supporting her mums intentions. She was stuck.

And here he was calling. He kept calling and she couldn’t muster the courage to pick the damn phone and tell him where she was. He knew it till the part that one of her close friend has expired and he was genuinely worried. He kept calling and calling and she was desperate to get back home. This rain was there for a reason……

A reason……………

She was forced to join them all for dinner and there she felt convenient to pick the phone. She just spoke of my friend whom she lost and didn’t stretch it far to the details of where she was at the moment. She knew it needed to be addressed in a little conducive environment. Maybe when she gets back home.
And she finally did get back home. She was scared, in jitters for it’s the same guy because of whom she had to face the music last. She told him the entire story conveniently avoiding the details of meeting the mum guy and his family and he knew that she lied. He caught her lie.
He gave her, her fair chance to tell him the truth, which she eventually did after much of coaxing. But again she hid the part that, her parents knew about it for she knew he would be hurt.
He was agitated, irritated. He was hurt for she lied. He was hurt for she didn’t trust him. He was hurt for she broke his trust.
Finally she surrendered telling him that her parents knew it all along.

It was all over!
It is all over!

It had lost its natural self……….
She cried, she begged……………………she pleaded………for one last meeting to just see him in his eyes……and tell him that it wasn’t about hurting him……….
She knew they couldn’t get back together and she was strong to take that hard gulp……but then she wanted him to know and acknowledge the fact……… that it wasn’t about hurting him ……..but she wasn’t granted her wish……

Instead it was this
:: If wishes were horses
Beggars would ride ::

For her this entire episode was one of those humbling experiences of standing upto her decisions when faced with that mum guy. She knew that she played her part pretty well; She stood up for her guy. She knew that she was no wrong but distrusted him that he might misinterpret.

She lied. She broke his trust. She was those concerted fools who wanted everything in life. Her family, his family, him. Everything! She was struggling to keep them together, keep them happy.
And for this she has no right to feel bad….has not right to shed tears…..no right to howl for that searing pain…….no right to feel distrusted…………….

And its since then that she has her brains racking on this trust lie combination……….

Anyways its his birthday today, and she genuinely is happy for him......that is no lie

and wishes him the same even if it means

::If wishes were horses
Beggar would ride::

kya karu.....baba!

2006-09-13T07:20:00.000-05:00

There is nothing funny happening offlate so i have no idea as to where get bone tickling stuff....
I am sitting in my cubicle writing mails after mails. Yaar sahi poocho to coorporate mein yahi hott hai. Meetings, mails and PPT's

I remember coming fresh out of college bubbling with energy and into the corporate world.
The first week was- then not so usual induction-, right from MD's address to the VP's to the allu lallu kallu's coming and giving us the brief about the organization.
It was no less different from the usual mourning classroom sessions just that lost the basic qualifications of being back benchers. But somehow we baffled the fatigue with usual drinking water therapy which eventually helped with frequent sessions to the loo, that why they say "ek panth do kaaj". Some times i locked the restroom and slept on the slab sitting. Or sometimes we fought for the candies served on every table in the training room right in the middle of pressure relief valve lectures.

Allen Solly friday dressing......

Now all was told was that "friday its casuals" and taking the casual in the casual sense of the word I was in my pepe jeans and adaidas sport shirt. You know the label dressing disease you get into maybe for the first six month of the job. O i missed out the adaidas shoes. I like them so please the nike lovers and the rebook stars take it with ease.
Interestingly the sex ratio in our company was pretty alarming for the census board and the doctors’ nation wide to have mild epileptic attack.
I was known to all the allu lallu kallu's in the office who for me were absolute strangers. Even the security guard at the basement knew about it, and i still don't own a car.
I knew i would passed with A+ grade for the casual dressing par nahi....sab aise ghoor ghoor ke dekh rahe the jaise i belong to some Ugandan tribe with meager clothing. Somebody should have told me na.....explained me na....
Since then I have resigned to variety of other label and non label dresses for the new learnt friday casual dressing...

And now I have mastered the art to wear friday casuals, attend meeting and yet look attentive, call for meetings, fight over the mails and play with data and make PPT's and yes change the font of the slides. I have mastered it all in return of loosing every bit of vivacity life had to offer when were in college.

hai-O-rabba!

2006-09-10T13:20:00.000-05:00

Changu: what a scenario..mmmmmmmmmm
mmmmm said the pretty lady on a lazy Thursday afternoon……
build on this now

Mangu: haan yaar kya karun adha kilo tamatar mein do tamatar kum hain...

Changu: arre madam aap aisa kyun sochti hain....mujh pe bharosa kijiye,........
maine poora aadha kilo tamatar hi diya tha
zaroor is raju ke bacche ne raste mein do kha liye

Mangu: dekhiye bhaisaab
mausi ke chach ke bete ki bahu ki nanand ke poto ke bachon ke in laws ko tamatar ka shorba dena hai tamatar kum ho gaye tho nak kat jayegi
apko to patta hi ha na...

Changu: arre madam agar naak kategi to usmein se khoon nikalega.....khoon ka rang hota hai laaal...tamatar ka shorba hota hai laal...laal rang mein laal khoon se aur bhi mazaa aayega

Mangu: chaliye to theek hai appki hi katti nak dal dete hai....bahut bahut dhanyawad is wunderphool idea ke liye

Changu: arre mujhe zukaam hai madam .....naak katne se gadbad ho jaayega.....aapka shorba kharab ho jaayega

Mangu: chaliye chodiye bhaisab...aap bhi na kya bhane bazi mein ulajh gaye hai...nak de dijiye
hum paani se dhoo kar istemal kar lenge

Changu: accha theek hai...lekin uska dus laakh rupaya lagega....meri naak bohat keemti hai
usmein heere moti jade hain

Mangu: dus lakh han theek hai....do chori tamatar ka dam nikalne ke baad bache dus rupay

Changu: lekin us dus rupay pe 5000% Naak bachao tax lagega, jiske
upar 10000% sarkari naakzukaam sammility tax hai
to kul milake hua 51510

Mangu: arre bahisaab....OBC category reservation hone ke karan hume 99% rebate milta hai....aur uppar se cenvat modvat claim bhi hoga na.....to phir wohi 10 rupay
hisab ke bade kache hai aap

Changu: arre lekin hum to MOBC hain.......maha obc....to humein 100% refund milta hai because of suppression from OBC....to its back to 51510

Mangu: Bhaisaab.....apko haal ke is MOBC scam ka nahi patta.....are govt ne kuch samay ke liye is sector ke sabhi reservation or funds rok diye hain...
kya bahissab...
aap bhi na...bade "woh" hai!

Changu: arre aapko kaise pata chal ki hum "woh" hain
aapki issi ada pe to hum ghayal hai mohatarma
chupke se kitna kucch keh jaati hain aap

Mangu: apne phele kyun nahin bataya
humme toh ab bahut sharam aa rahi hai...
haio rabba

Changu: hai.........kya ada hai

Mangu: to dus rupay hue na...

Changu: haan ji cheque lengi ki draft
cash to itna hoga nahin hamare pass
arre lekin ek minute.......tamatar to hum bech rahe the.....to paisa to humko milega
to hum aapka kyun kucch dein

Mangu: aise nazar se jo dekha
us zalim ne
humne kaleja rakh diya chaku ki nokh pe
mera xhain wain sab ujda
zalim nazar hatale

Changu: wah wah wah..irshad irshad
zindagi jab bhi teri bazm mein laati hai humein
yeh zameen chaand se behetar nazar aati hai humein

Mangu: chaliye chodiye...
aap to bus aise hi keh rahe hain
hume patta hai!

Changu: arre yeh kya baat kar di aapne,

Mangu: hai kyun

Changu: hum se aapki shaan mein kucch galat kaha jaaye,
aisi gustaki se pehele,
hamari zabaan na kat jaaye

Mangu: dhut

Changu: kya dhut

Mangu: to tamatar bechne ke illawa suna hai aap.....shikar bhi karte hai

Changu: haan shikar to hum bahut karte
boliye kiska karna hai.......angelina jolie will do????
ha ha ha ha ha haha

Mangu: mmmm...
dekha aap kitne daga baz nikale
ek to yeh nahi ki bole dus rupay janne do
aur upar se angelina

Changu: Gar woh samajh paate jeevan ki raah mein batore hain humne moti
to yun na kehte humein yeh baat,
ki is paise ke liye nahin karte khaatti hum apni yeh dosti
unpe to hai hamari jaan hi fanaah

Mangu: loot liya apne humme
apni is adao se

Changu: arre kahaan aap kahaan main jo loot paayein aapko
aap to anmol hain, tol mol ke bol hain

oye kitthe gaye
aap shikaar ki baat kar rahe the na

Mangu: haan yaar mein woh MOCB ki councill meeting attend karne gayi thi

Changu: okies errrrr.......MOCB?????

Mangu: actually yes i had an appointment with sonia n manmohan
but wth this scam on such precarious grounds nothing conclusive has come out...

Changu: ok…..yaar bus ab mein kay karoon

Mangu: :)
mmm..UN security general join karo

Changu: usse kya hoga

Mangu: patang udaooo
ladki pataoo...
haan yeh sahi hai
ab kuch karo apni is dukaht zindagi ka
go get a life Changu

Changu: for that ill need a wife
:)

Mangu: hele ladki patane se shuru karo

Changu: or atleast someone who will agree to be my wife in 3 years from now
thats a tall order for a committment aint

Mangu: open order thats what we call

(He he..................)

Utter Chaos!

2006-09-09T14:26:00.000-05:00

Chaos: Knock Knock

Ripple: Whose there???

Chaos: Good Morning Madam......This Colonel Zanurag Zrishan.....AK-47 for
short.......I am from the Investigation Bureau
And we are investigation the case of the missing pink pyjamas
On the night of January 16th at exactly 39 minutes to midnight a pair of pink polka dotted pink pyjamas were stolen from 7, Racecourse road, the official residence of our sexy sardarji........aka.........Prime Minister Panmohan Singh
You see these were a very very special pair made especially for our darji.........by his bebe........

And ever since the pyjamas were stolen he has been really really distraught and this has reflected in all the actions.........the reservations.....the market sliding down
Now we have information from our sources that you too own a couple of pink polka dotted pyajamas
we would like to questtion you on the same

Ripple: Col.....but then I need the search warrant
And before that I need to speak to my lawyer.
Pink Polka dotted pyjamas could you elaborate on this very generalized description
Let me see if I can help you!

Hey Col.....

I am sorry for such a late realization but then if I m not wrong i have seen you in those pink polka dotted pyjamas maybe a week ago.....you know in that...pyajama party of the presidents daughter you sneaked into....

Chaos: For your information our president is a bachelor he does not have a daughter
And madam i am the investigating office and I am the law here....not the criminal
So now lets get back to the investigation

Ripples: you didn't know he had an adopted daughter.....and btw who talking of the present President
And that too an Indian president to top it all

Chaos: Can you please tell me when was the last time you wore you pair of pyjamas also what is the shape of the polka dots on your pyjamas

Ripples: Mr Col....i am sure you shall appreciate that Law is not written all over your face...
need a substantial doc
You can't interrogate me on such precarious grounds
Let me do the honor of asking you……where were you on the 3rd Feb. a 1:45 am to be precise enough

Chaos: I am not interrogating you madam, I need your help

Ripples: what was your merc doing in the basement of pawn shop in of JT locality

Chaos: I was trying to save the world from a disaster when Feorge Push farted just 10 meters west of Gin Laden's Den
You know Gin Laden hates farts He was ready to release nukes on the whole world........he got so angry
I do not understand this Push why does he have to keep farting about the whole way......... It is so difficult for us personnel to control the situations arising

Chaos: that was from where I was trying to calm bin laden down
Madam you will have to excuse me for a moment I have an urgent phone call to attend from Italy
Need to investigate the Italian angle to these pyjamas will be back soon

Ripples:message from sergeant theta.....polka's potted 200 nautical miles away from the reporting ship....
Morse code....pink pyjamas of the given description but the polka's stolen has been spotted with Ms Tenazir Phutto currently flying PIA to Israel...to attend the council meeting of the underground depolkated pyjama society,...

Col Zrishan.....This is Brig Xeha T’ I want you and your men flying your ass to Israel and report me on the current activities of this underground depolkated pyjama society....

Chaos: Roger Brigadier.....I have a team of our Para commandos flying right away to Israel to cover ground action
I will be away on a special detour mission to Iraq to find the whereabouts the Priory of Polkan Society.......which guards the greatest secret of them all

Albert PInto ne Gussa isliye kiya tha kyunki uska pyjama Pope John Paul II ne chura liya

Ripples: Col Zrishan..this is Reporter Xeha Xeth live fromm CNN ibn
What is the action scene in Israel...with these heavy sanctions of US for Israel giving shelter to the council members of depolkated pyjama society, and with UN claiming it higly inhummaniatrian...

Ripples: POsama’s claimed to be heading the league as per the sources...what are ……your comments on that!
Is it true that final burning of the polka dots shall done on the disputed ghaza strip

Chaos: Madam Xeth, this is highly unprofessional of you.......spreading such rumors the polka dots have not left the Indian Shores.......no righteous Hindu shall allow that..........
They are all in their resplendent brilliance along the banks of the Ganga in haridwar.........

Ripples: Talking of the polka dots what about the dot on Panmohan Sing's bebe....
Do you realize that along with the polkated pyjama it too has been stolen?

Col Zrishan I want the point to point accurate report on all the Polka's missing from India...or else i shall have you to packed to Mongolia in cold desserts in search of dead hooves of the pink panthers
(He he he ..........................)

As far as I can remember...

2006-09-08T08:04:00.000-05:00

Though I talk to mom everyday giving her the account of my daily being ofcourse conveniently avoiding all the “not to be told” stuff, but yesterday it was a different experience. She was cleaning the cupboard, when she saw the album having the pictures of our child hood days (me and my sis).
What followed next was a brief narration of each of those pictures by maa
And even after having hung the phone I sunk in my chair with the reminisces of “those days”…..

Some of the few best things about the army life are the hoard of parties. Officer joining “Dinning In”, officer leaving “Dinning Out” (referred by we kids as “patka parties”). XYZ general coming another party, ladies getting bored ”ladies meet”, bi annuals, reunion, promotion parties, saturday clubs…… This one goes back to the time when I was a nunna munna baccha attending one of those god forsaken parties (not the dinning in and dinning out….which are strictly….”no kids” category”). The families during that tenure of my parents had all kids more or less of my age all guys. So to say I was surrounded with kanahiya’s all around. The game that was best played on such occasions was “Chupan Chupai”. You had loads to places to hide and win yourself a brat status. Like the jeeps and jongas in the porch to be chased by the driver bahiyas…….the big red colored curtain in the sit out area to be chased by the auniji poking their nose in children affair……or under the table hidden by the linen option which was the hot favorite but again be chased by the mess hawaldar bahiya….....but I discovered yet another interesting place, “Kings Room”.
(and for people who fail to drive the logic……it was the “men’s toilet)

I couldn’t contain my excitement for an adventure on the forbidden land. It was no different from the “Queens Room” (don’t raise your expectation from me now that I would explain again). The same dressing table with a comb, same silly “Charlie Perfume” bottle, POND powder dubba and the “Dabur Amla Kesh Tel” bottle (wonder who uses it to be the teluram brand for the parties!). But that did not hamper my plans for a little make up that followed. I had this 1kg powder on my face and loaded my armpits with almost half the bottle perfume. For the oil I really couldn’t see much of use so I spared that piece alone.
Another thing amusing about that place was the same 40 watt “Humara Bajaj” bulbs, hanging from the typical holders you get to see in the hindi movies having the police lock up interrogation scenes.
It had my share of adventure for a little spree, but not that I fancy is so much that I would like stay there till eternity. I was all set to march out, back to beat the hell out of the seeker for he wasn’t doing a pretty good job of tracking people down. At the door I encountered one of those bulldozer sized uncles who just missed a trip fall. He was astonished needless to say why, but all to his modesty just said “hello little angel”. The little angel that I was just has a loud shriek to offer in response. Everyone came rushing to my rescue thanks to my vocal chord which did the superb job. And then there was this watchful silence. Watchful for I had the entire limelight on me with the amused look on peoples face. What did the little angel do next? She said “sorry” very sheepishly and walked off to mamma. My parents as always had to put up with a face after such public embarrassment sessions. I still have that photo of mine with that 1 kg of powder pretty evident on the face.

twinkle twinkle little eshtar!

2006-09-05T06:32:00.001-05:00

My brain has reached the saturation level to be able to comprehend any logic for the day not even as simple as 2+2. And so I am here for something less logical or maybe not at all logical. Anyways that’s besides the point. The other thing that instigated me for this splurge of writing spree are my weird wish lists for the day.

I want to stick the pinky bloomer bubblegum that I have been chewing since morning on the black pants of my colleague. I know that’s nasty. But I knew that since childhood! So will I do that? Not as long as it continues to be on my wish list.
I want to go and stamp on my bosses leg. Want him to get the feel of being hurt? Oh I am sorry I forgot to mention, I feel like doing that to my ex boss. And with bosses there is no need for a reason to have those feelings. That is bound to happen. But again its just in the wish list.
Yeah I want to play paper ball paper ball throwing cum hitting game. Want to make sure that the entire office is littered properly for the office boys to have some task till tomorrow morning.
I want to watch “You got a mail” & “Kate and Leopard” and “Harry met Sally” in the office and most importantly during the office hours. As for the similarities you can figure that for yourself.
I want to blow my nose real hard in public. (I know I am sounding incorrigible)

But then with this refreshing thought of the amount of work left for the day my logical tentacles have got charged up to acknowledge the reality to start with. And maybe I shall keep this wish list for the day when I own a company. But then wish number 3 & 4 can be executed the day I get promoted from a cubicle to a cabin :)

ahem ahem!

2006-09-04T05:24:00.000-05:00

I have a lovely cute sister and she for me is a darling. Its not that we don’t end up in tiffs but that should not even be considered, for I am firm believer of the fact “ki woh humara janam sidh adhikar hai!”. And as it happen with everyone, she has grown up now to get into a professional course. The bliss being in the same place where I am located. Of course my dad did hear my silent prayers and she is has been put up in the hostel facility provided by the college.
Hey! Its not that I didn’t want her to stay or something, just that I had a ball when I was in hostel and she was always fascinated by the “eshtories” I had to tell about what all masti we had, conveniently overlooking the tough times we did struggle through, she was bound to get inspired. And I really didn’t want to be a haddi in her kabab dreams.
Oh if I am talking about her first year I ought to mention the ragging that awaits her. I remember when I had been to her college at time of the interview, the notice board had a beautifully calligraphic written chart saying “Ragging is an offence” and trust me that in itself was good enough to get the clue “oh my darling sister you are screwed!”. Her ragging has me spinning around after every distress call of hers and so far if the count is correct there have been six. Phew! She is getting smarter as the time seems to be rolling. Though at times she claims that “Didi I want to meet you….I am missing you!”…..the underlying truth is…..”hey didz….I need an expense covered movie shopping and eating spree…in the name of love”………(no wonder I suffer from Ally Mc Beal hallucination !!)
On one of the typically boring curd rice eating dinner sessions she just uttered “I have something to tell ya”…..and I was as though I am being choked for the ultimate truth now that is to pour off, for I knew what this “mujhe kuch kenhna hai!” meant. And now my sister has a boy pheerend. Since then I have freaked out. I have to keep reminding myself that its her age and she just has to cautious. But no matter what all assurances I keep getting from her, to me he still is testosterone driven MCP species and everytime I see him its those Ally Mc Beal hallucinations again that I see myself choking him to death and telling that lay your hands off my sister or else….and all I suppress it with is a faked up smile. I am genuinely concerned or that am I just getting a little too much of a nag. Anyways she is out on her first date tomorrow and I wish she has a good time……that’s the least I can say! Guess what I am almost sounding like a granny.

lets get loud!

2006-08-18T13:09:00.000-05:00

Just inspired to bring about a little change in everything around.
And so here in an eranest attempt to make those changes..........a little too tired of writing serious stuff.....and articulating them in...even more a serious manner....

Lost In Translation!

2006-08-07T07:37:00.000-05:00

It goes back to the time when I was in college.
(Song: Those were the best days of my life….)

As far as I can remember we had our study vacations going on then.
Life was in its usual lull for the exams were approaching. Days were slipping out of your hands because, one thing you don’t have control over is time. Everything around just looked lazy maybe as lazy as I felt.
After supposedly a hectic study session in the library which included eavesdropping others conversation, some colorful sites of the couples in action, stray remarks on the people roaming about and yeah to keep it all pepped up the coffee breaks to the bakery, I was just getting prepared to leave back to the hostel for a little nap in the afternoon.

Maybe I guess I have this tendency to keep talking to myself in my sub conscience. Something that makes me feel connected to my own self. I am sure we all do and even if you don’t , I actually do. Its an important ritual of my daily being.
But that day somehow during my brief transit from the library to the hostel all that accompanied me was this deafening silence.
Something like an old juke box with its FM signals lost as though life has been taken out of it.
(Song: Little Bo peep had lost her sheep and can’t tell where to find them…..)

Talking to friends, tossing over the bed, ruffling some pages, nothing was working in my favor to be able to shut the silence echoing in my ears. It was bad and really uncomfortable a state to have landed. In that perplexed state of mind I just walked irreverent of the fact as to where I am heading. I needed to get my head cleared off , of what I had no clue of. I needed to go somewhere.

In my tethered jeans and a lousy t shirt (the extra cherry topping!) I was out on the streets. I was not thinking and so I was uncomfortable. Heart and the head had no connectivity to be interacting to each other. (The wi fi system had actually conked off!! )
I had barely crossed the hostel gates and reached the railway crossing at the back side of the college gate that I found myself with a very interesting company. The good old guard bhaiya of that railway crossing with that bewildered look wondering as to what I am doing walking aimlessly under the hot scorchy sun, which he eventually asked him not able to sustain his inquisitiveness. And what did I have to offer him a blank dazed look.
I don’t remember having spoken to him till then that he had that mocking smile as though he knew all that was happening inside my head. He offered me to sit on one of those stones coming handy for a chair and some tea in those cute little steel cups (very typical to this southern part of the country).
And then what that followed was the usual conversation about how am I doing with my studies, when am I planning to go home for vacation. It wasn’t one sided a conversation. He too spoke about his daughters who are of my age, his plans to get them married and how devastating the monsoons have been for the year.
Little did I realize that all along I wasn’t lost anymore. No more was that deafening silence bothering rather all the clogs had been cleared off and so had the uncomfortable feeling vanished. Rather it was a humbling experience finding my ownself back.
(Song: Yeh lamha filhal jee lene de…..)

Till date I have no clue as to what made the entire difference with that wry conversation or rather exchange of words between me and that gurad bahiya, but its definitely one of the things I that keeps me going. And the moment I am lost again, reminisces of those moments spark my eyes as though i have deciphered a code. But the problem that largely remains on hand is that though I have interpreted something out of that in my own strange ways I have not been able to relate in words of what I have understood.
(Song: Zindagi kaise yeh paheli hai......)

:)

Over a cup of Coffee!

2006-06-18T05:19:00.000-05:00

Life needed some coffee and maybe some moment of its own when the world around flows at its usual pace and you pilfer a stagnant entity status for yourself. Life breathing out to itself, mind composed, the muscles flexing to this ease of slumber sleep with a refreshing daze evident from the face not to forget the fresh breeze that stirred it all to perfection of relaxing.
Infused state of this trance was least bothered of the mundane routine affairs of life right from office to your groceries to you laundries. What it relished was this much sought laxity though momentarily.
( What went missing is a bean bag! :) )

Technology needed a maintenance break and outage spree punctuating our pace of life to have a cup of coffee.

PS: And maybe for me to write something after such a long gap

some ripples...

2006-04-01T02:56:00.000-06:00

The only thing predictable about this gamut of life is a change…the alternate hypothesis is always true :) …(and there I go talking about life again!)
But yeah there is a difference and I promise you on that. A difference and a promise, to not to add that desponding note to my realizations about life.
I don’t know if that’s the process of growing up or it’s a transition phase or an evolution of certain attributes but its definitely a change. A change that is dictating a lot of introspection. A change which demands a major revamping of the ideas and opinions an individual holds. A change which makes you rediscover your own self, for some things beautifully rest in your sub conscience mind and are best reflected in your most insignificant reactions.
As our human tendency goes a change of the “subjected” nature is a little hard to gulp down.
(change in yous boss’s attitude……..a change in your girlfriends opinion about you….or lets say the company’s on its new cost cutting mode……now that sounds interesting doesn’t it……and it happens….you like it or you don’t…it still happens!)
Of course the mentioned instances are too trivial a reason to trigger off such an elaboration of thoughts but that were just my exemplary claims to refresh ourselves about the ever existent change.
Given the ability to radically think……that’s how I see a change…

for the sin I was to commit

2006-03-04T02:26:00.000-06:00

This goes as my apology note........
Couple of days back I just said reading was the filler or rather the apt reliable filler for the loneliness this mundane living style abject...But today I guess I feel what an understatement I made. And this realization dawned upon me over a convivial reunion with old college buddies.....not that I am taken over by his theory but then it makes sense, rather I should say voiced my opinion.....thats what evolved from a healthy interactive session

Reading is one of those active hobbies which substantiates you with abundance of knowledge over a variety of topics...Its passive as long as you are just differentiating black from the white background.....It gives you the ability to articulate yourself....channelize your thought process....provokes you to think.....irks your braincells.....
Can't relate myself to a day without reading......
.....mm....guess i finally did justice to my reading skills...(rather than stating them as an option over something else).... :)

backward integration

2006-02-26T08:51:00.000-06:00

Though the reference to this integration started with a typical business case study.
And there kids rushing out of the school gates after all the fun and frolic with the school buddies though with the added drudgery of the teaching sessions surely did capture a tinge of the backward integration of my life.
For the so called those malgudi days I guess the best vivid attribute characterization for my school days shall be that of Swami and His Friends…..inquisitive, naughty, playful…..often landed in troubles with our ineptly crafted pranks (or maybe it was just that the luck wasn’t on our sides for those moments J )….secret missions right from the prank innovation invention to final completion…..we were the pet favorites of our teachers and staff……for all the detentions and assignments, for all the lovely moments of standing over the bench (just incase you don’t realize – that’s supposedly called punishment ;) and the best being we use to enjoy)
These are some of the snapshots of the school days when I was in Delhi. Thereafter it was lot of shuffling from one place to another basically due the transferable nature of job of my parents. But none the less I guess every school had his bunch of Swami and his friends J each one special and memorable.
And I can just go on blabbering rolling tumbling down the memory lanes……they are like will-o’-the whisp……the days, our memories chase……reminiscences that sparks up the eyes……with a dash of that silly smile

opinions....

2006-02-24T06:31:00.000-06:00

You can say that inspired reading the book "Ideas and Opinions" and so here to blabber about opinions.
Being opinionated is what I have done in a long time, other than the times when you are looked upon for some words of wisdom. And that when I start dodging with the apt pros and cons to lend some reliable food for thought. That apart I have never seen myself very coherent with my opinion part of it. But that surely does show how disarrayed my thoughts rest in my mind. And so I end up calling them inklings with no strings attached…What a great self discovery.
That’s what writing does to me…..discover myself :)

booked....

2006-02-22T08:43:00.000-06:00

Books….books….duba daba diba books….guess that’s how the songs goes….for the bournvita quiz contest.

Well shall take the liberty of calling myself a cute caterpillar with round spectacles lost in the jungles of books and books and books. So much so that I hardly have place on my neat bed for my own self.
There is something about reading that has always fascinated me. And guess that’s was at its bloom this weekend that I managed to dig a hole in my pocket worth 2000 bucks. Can you imagine that…..i mean what a sacrifice that should be from buying the regular clothes cosmetics…..that I invested in books. (mom I hope you would never read my blog)
Reading has stung me more than a fascination for the past couple of days. So much so that I am ready to compromise my sleep just to ruffle down a couple of more pages. The current obsession is Albert Einstein’s "Ideas an Opinions" parallel with the science fiction from Douglas Adam "Hitchhickers Guide to Galaxy". And give me two more days to hit on Joseph Heller’s "Something Happened". Oh don’t worry I have more maybe good enough to keep me occupied for months to come. Ayn Rand for the second time!
As I am to interpolate
Reading is definitely one of the soothing activities I can indulge in especially when self is on a rampant quest to answers the question you are yet to figure out. When something is stirring inside, typically those inklings with no strings attached I once did mention about. The perfect and reliable filler for all the void and emptiness this mundane living style abject.

music!

2006-02-17T03:29:00.000-06:00

A punchy baseline, rhythm on the notes and I guess all set to rock for the weekends to celebrate the essence of life the so-called spirit imbibed.
Catching up with old long lost buddies has its nostalgic charm. And then what simmers in front of your eyes are the memories soaked in your past.
Memories that capture everything about you, your secrets, your emotions, your fears, your puppy crushes, your triumphs, your tears…. tangy sweet and sour!

tiPPing pOint

2006-02-13T00:17:00.000-06:00

All day long I just cribbed to get something to scratch in a few lines and now when I have the time, available resources I am just short of words. Not keeping upto the mark of being able enough to conceptualize my thoughts, give them a form. They are like inklings with no strings attached.
After days I could carry myself with a genuine heart felt smile and its all thanks to the shit that happened.
Shit happens and so does the good things. What made the difference was that one remark, that one statement that one twitch of my eyes and there I was free back to life, breathing to myself. Truly the "tipping point"
Vibrant colors of life in magnificent marvelous proportions.

quest of life

2006-02-09T07:08:00.000-06:00

A new day and a new start but then I end up home like a "lost cow". Lost in translation of my own thoughts and feelings. But on whole life sucks at times. The only passing statement that makes the difference is that "shit happens and so does the good things". Maybe waiting for my serendipity.
On a second note I just want my thought to be simple. To make sence to me. I need to have that capability to conceptualize the tirade of such abstract notions. Maybe that shall make all the difference for this question called life.

my repartee!

2006-02-08T05:56:00.000-06:00

Hell – O!

Reverences to all people I have ever known but life sucks big time or is it that I am in a good mood to crib and bitch about. "Why me" syndrome does strike you at times though we all know that it really doesn’t help in a long run.
Life has a very wayward approach for its respective human beings. Looks like one of the corrupt departments god has to manage. What a lousy officer he would have been reporting to our goodie goodie god. With the amount of complains and prayers "Oh my God!" has to handle each day I am sure he must be having the same tuff time. Can’t live with, can’t live without J .
My repartee for this vicious cirle of life…….